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She gives me detailed descriptions of this relative’s various ailments. But it’s all a load of cobblers, she thinks I don’t know her secret but I’ve been on to her for ages.

I first started to suspect something was up when she began turning away from me in bed. She claimed to have headaches and bad periods.

We’ve always had an amazing sex life, with her often more rampant than me, so I gave it a couple of weeks before I followed her for the first time. She drove to a quiet back street where she left her car and jumped into a waiting 4x4. After an intimate dinner in a restaurant, she and her date went to a bar and then had sex in the back of his vehicle behind a disused factory. I was following and watching the whole time. She finally staggered home at 2am claiming that her poor old auntie had take a turn for the worse and would need to be visited again the next night.

The next night she met her fella in a hotel lobby and I actually paid a staff member to tell me which room they were in. I lurked around outside pretending to make a call and heard everything. She and I have been together for three years and I just can’t believe that she’s cheating on me.

In my strongest moments, I tell myself that I’m going to front the pair of them up, but then I lose my nerve. What if I bring everything out in the open and she chooses him over me?

I’m the wronged man, but I don’t know what to do next.

T SAYS: This can’t go on. You’re stalking around like a TV detective, both compromising your dignity and making yourself utterly miserable.

You’re right. You are the wronged man. But this has to end here. You now have your information – you know that your girlfriend is cheating on you, so that’s enough. At the moment you’re only putting off the inevitable.

You have to find the courage to confront your girlfriend and tell her that you know everything. Sit her down and make it clear that her secret affair is a secret no longer.

You’ve seen her with her bloke. She then has to tell you what it all means. Is she serious about this other guy?

But the biggest question of all is what is so wrong with your relationship that she felt moved to cheat in the first place?

Can you both come back from this and start again? What I find so upsetting about this charade is how casually she is able to lie.

You could easily check up her auntie story with another of her relatives. Doesn’t she care about the truth or humiliating you? Do you actually know her at all?



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