Q: My on-off boyfriend only seems to want me to be there in reserve for when his other relationships fail. We’ve been seeing each other intermittently since 2007 and he’s always been “the one” for me, but he really hurt me the last time he walked away with an old friend I’d introduced him to. I swore then that I’d never allow him to use me again, but he’s back in touch saying that he’s lonely and I am the only one who “gets him”. He swears he’ll never let me down again, but can I take that chance after all the humiliation and misery he’s put me through?
A: You and I both know that there is only one answer to your question – and that is a resounding no. You have to face the fact that this man is a shameless user with no scruples whatsoever. He leeches off you whenever he’s on his uppers, but is out of the door in a flash as soon as someone new and exciting comes along. You have to start putting your own mental and physical health first before he’s responsible for breaking you completely. His current situation is not your problem and you can’t allow him to worm his way back into your life again just as you’re getting better. Tell him today that you have moved on, then ask your friends and family to support you in staying strong.