Q: My partner only wants to have sex with me when he’s drunk, which I find incredibly hurtful. If I say anything about it, he jokes: “That’s the only time I can face touching you. ”We’ve been together for five years and our life has become very mundane. We often sleep in separate beds because of his snoring. Yet any time he comes home after drinking with his friends, he’s all over me. All I crave is a normal, loving relationship. Why should I have to put up with this?
A: It’s vital that you talk to your partner, away from the bedroom and when he’s stone-cold sober, about how much he’s hurting you. He has to understand that you have your dignity and your own needs, and these simply aren’t being considered. If drink gives him confidence, suggest some early nights and try getting back to basics. But if he’s really not bothered about your feelings and thinks that excessive alcohol affords him the right to behave any way he likes, I suggest you talk seriously about where this relationship is headed.