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She’s not the girl I fell in love with

Q: I feel I’ve been totally conned by my girlfriend. I met her online in 2013, and for the first six months we just talked. She was friendly and funny, and I really looked forward to her calls each night. We finally arranged to go away for the weekend and as soon as we saw each other, it was fantastic – like we’d known each other for ages. The sex was great, too, and we were both really sad when the weekend was over. But since then things have never been the same. We still speak, but only meet up when she wants me to buy her things. It’s like there are two sides to her – I now get the feeling she doesn’t like my clothes or my opinions, and I often feel I just annoy her. Where did I go wrong?

 A: I suspect she thoroughly enjoyed the flirting and the thrill of the chase, but as soon as you met, the spell was broken. Your girlfriend now sees that you’re a normal person, not a fantasy figure. But you have every right to dress and speak as you please – don’t feel you have to change to meet her expectations. I hate the idea of this woman crushing your confidence and leaving you confused and upset, so I suggest you give yourself a good, long break from this relationship in order to clear your mind and think about yourself and your needs. Tell her today that you need some space, and don’t allow yourself to be anyone’s fool.


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